I'm glad that we Malawians, despite our penchant to litter, are very good at recycling.
You don't believe me? Then explain to me why John Tembo is still MCP's leader? Indeed, tell me the reason Bakili Muluzi wants to come back to misrule us and plunder our economy? And while you're at it, why don't you tell me why we still have the likes of Gwanda in our political landscape.
Yes, in Malawi we recycle politicians. That's how we've maintained our environment in a constant state of political pollution. That's the reason we can't rid our parliament of numbnuts who are so myopic they can't see beyond their pockets.
But what ails Malawi?
Why are we still mired in poverty while our leaders become instant millionaires (and instant paupers when they get out of power)? Why is it that we're always at the top when it comes to bad stats (poverty, illiteracy, etcetera) but always anchor the good stats charts (GDP, life expectancy, an so on)?
Why can't we do business without a little something changing hands?
I think I know. It's because our country is misnamed. We need to change the name of our nation, and change it fast, if things are to get any better.
You're shaking your head! You mean you were never taught that nothing good is associated with words preceded by "mal"? OK, get out your dictionary and let's browse through a few of them. Malady. Malaise. Maladapted. Maladministration. Malapportioned. Malcontent. Malarkey. Malappropriate. Malapropism. Maleficence. Malevolence. Malfeasance. Malformation. Malaria.
Starting to get the drift?
Then, of course, there is Malawi. But just in case you think I'm just a maladjusted Malawian with a malfunctioning brain who views Malawi with malice, let me remind you that there's a country in West Africa called, you guessed it, Mali.
Need I say more?